Miss Lucy’s Playground Songs

Archive for the ‘Gross-out songs’ Category

To the tune of My Bonnie.

Source: UK Songs

My breakfast lies over the ocean,
My dinner lies over the sea,
My stomach is in a commotion,
Don’t mention my supper to me.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

I really felt rotten this morning,
They tell me I really looked pale,
My stomach gave adequate warning,
To lean far out over the rail.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

The sound of a stomach in motion,
A murmuring noise inside me,
I looked down and there on the water,
Was breakfast and dinner and tea.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

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When I was a little kid see I never liked to eat.
Mama put things on my plate; I’d dump them on her feet. But then one day she made this soup, I ate it all in bed. I asked her what she put in it and this is what she said:

Oh Chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes. Yeah
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs.
Well Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe-nail pies.
Stir them all together, and its mama’s soup surprise.

Well I went into the bathroom and stood beside the sink. I said I’m feeling slightly ill, and I think I’d like a drink. Mama said, “I’ve just the thing, I’ll get it in a wink
It’s full of lots of protein, and vitamins I think.”

It was chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes. Yeah monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs. Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe-nail pies. Stir them all together, and its mama’s soup surprise.

Here is Springsteen singing this song. 🙂

I caught my husband singing this song yesterday:

Teacher teacher, floating down the Delaware
Chewing on her underwear, doesn’t have another pair
Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear
And that’s why the polar bear died.

On CocoJams Teacher Taunts I found this version – which is very similar:

Row Row Row Your Boat
Row, Row, Row your boat
Gently down the stream
Throw the teacher overboard
Listen to her scream

Five days later, floating down the Delaware
Chewing on her underwear, doesn’t have another pair
Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear
Wonder why the polar bear died.

Like the Cocojams version, on In the 80s, I found this version:

Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream
Throw your teacher overboard and listen to her scream
Five days later floatin’ down the Delaware
chewing on her underwear couldn’t afford another pair!
Ten days later bitten by a polar bear
that’s how the polar bear died!!

The Popeye song reminds me of another. It is a little out of season. To the tune of Jingle Bells. Poor stinky Batman.

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin Laid an Egg
The Batmobile Lost a Wheel
And Joker got away

From In the 80s, I found another version:

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
The Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker took ballet.

It made me smile.

From Cocojams Children’s Gross Out Rhymes:

I’m Popeye The Sailor Man
I’m Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a garbage can,
I eat all the worms and spit out the germs,
I’m Popeye the sailor man.

I just thought of another one, and Wikipedia did not fail me with having all the words.

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdie feet.
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
And me without my spoon.

Wikipedia also had some great Variations on the lyrics:

Marinated monkey meat
Middle-aged monkey meat

Baby birdies’ bloody feet
Dirty little pigeon’s feet
Concentrated birdies’ feet
Little duckys’ dirty feet
Chopped-up parakeet
Chopped up horses feet
Beetle’s eyes and monkeys feet
Petrified Pigeon Pus

I think I recall the words being something like, “little birdies stinky feet”.

Tons and tons of purple porpoise pus
All four quarts of all purpose porpoise pus
Four pure pints of all purpose porpoise pus
Pounds and pounds of prehistoric porpoise pus
All mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus
French fried eyeballs rollin’ up the dirty street
French fried eyeballs swimmin’ in a pool of blood
Eyeball floating in a pool of blood

Sitting in my pink lemonade
oops I forgot my straw
And I forgot my spoon!
Don’t forget to lick the spoon
And I forgot my fork…and spoon….and knife
Made a sandwich just for you

Some versions from Wikipedia add a line after the forgotten spoon:

Does anybody have a straw?
And I forgot my straw!
But I have a straw.

Wow….. whose hungry?

Source: Songs for Scouts

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me.
I guess I’ll go eat worms.
Long thin slimy ones, short fat juicy ones.
Itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms.

First you bite their heads off.
Then you suck their guts out.
Then you throw the skins away.
Nobody knows how I can survive on 100 worms a day!

Down goes the first one.
Down goes the second one.
O, how they wiggle and squirm.
Long thin slimy ones, Short fat juicy ones.
Itsby bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms!


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