My Breakfast Lies Over the Ocean

To the tune of My Bonnie.

Source: UK Songs

My breakfast lies over the ocean,
My dinner lies over the sea,
My stomach is in a commotion,
Don’t mention my supper to me.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

I really felt rotten this morning,
They tell me I really looked pale,
My stomach gave adequate warning,
To lean far out over the rail.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

The sound of a stomach in motion,
A murmuring noise inside me,
I looked down and there on the water,
Was breakfast and dinner and tea.

Chorus Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my bucket to me.

Chicken Lips and Lizard Hips

When I was a little kid see I never liked to eat.
Mama put things on my plate; I’d dump them on her feet. But then one day she made this soup, I ate it all in bed. I asked her what she put in it and this is what she said:

Oh Chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes. Yeah
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs.
Well Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe-nail pies.
Stir them all together, and its mama’s soup surprise.

Well I went into the bathroom and stood beside the sink. I said I’m feeling slightly ill, and I think I’d like a drink. Mama said, “I’ve just the thing, I’ll get it in a wink
It’s full of lots of protein, and vitamins I think.”

It was chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes. Yeah monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs. Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe-nail pies. Stir them all together, and its mama’s soup surprise.

Here is Springsteen singing this song. 🙂

Teacher Teacher

I caught my husband singing this song yesterday:

Teacher teacher, floating down the Delaware
Chewing on her underwear, doesn’t have another pair
Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear
And that’s why the polar bear died.

On CocoJams Teacher Taunts I found this version – which is very similar:

Row Row Row Your Boat
Row, Row, Row your boat
Gently down the stream
Throw the teacher overboard
Listen to her scream

Five days later, floating down the Delaware
Chewing on her underwear, doesn’t have another pair
Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear
Wonder why the polar bear died.

Like the Cocojams version, on In the 80s, I found this version:

Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream
Throw your teacher overboard and listen to her scream
Five days later floatin’ down the Delaware
chewing on her underwear couldn’t afford another pair!
Ten days later bitten by a polar bear
that’s how the polar bear died!!

Batman Smells

The Popeye song reminds me of another. It is a little out of season. To the tune of Jingle Bells. Poor stinky Batman.

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin Laid an Egg
The Batmobile Lost a Wheel
And Joker got away

From In the 80s, I found another version:

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
The Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker took ballet.

It made me smile.

I’m Popeye The Sailor Man

From Cocojams Children’s Gross Out Rhymes:

I’m Popeye The Sailor Man
I’m Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a garbage can,
I eat all the worms and spit out the germs,
I’m Popeye the sailor man.

Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

I just thought of another one, and Wikipedia did not fail me with having all the words.

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdie feet.
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
And me without my spoon.

Wikipedia also had some great Variations on the lyrics:

Marinated monkey meat
Middle-aged monkey meat

Baby birdies’ bloody feet
Dirty little pigeon’s feet
Concentrated birdies’ feet
Little duckys’ dirty feet
Chopped-up parakeet
Chopped up horses feet
Beetle’s eyes and monkeys feet
Petrified Pigeon Pus

I think I recall the words being something like, “little birdies stinky feet”.

Tons and tons of purple porpoise pus
All four quarts of all purpose porpoise pus
Four pure pints of all purpose porpoise pus
Pounds and pounds of prehistoric porpoise pus
All mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus
French fried eyeballs rollin’ up the dirty street
French fried eyeballs swimmin’ in a pool of blood
Eyeball floating in a pool of blood

Sitting in my pink lemonade
oops I forgot my straw
And I forgot my spoon!
Don’t forget to lick the spoon
And I forgot my fork…and spoon….and knife
Made a sandwich just for you

Some versions from Wikipedia add a line after the forgotten spoon:

Does anybody have a straw?
And I forgot my straw!
But I have a straw.

Wow….. whose hungry?

Worms

Source: Songs for Scouts

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me.
I guess I’ll go eat worms.
Long thin slimy ones, short fat juicy ones.
Itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms.

First you bite their heads off.
Then you suck their guts out.
Then you throw the skins away.
Nobody knows how I can survive on 100 worms a day!

Down goes the first one.
Down goes the second one.
O, how they wiggle and squirm.
Long thin slimy ones, Short fat juicy ones.
Itsby bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms!

Don’t You Laugh When the Hearse Goes By

Source: Boy Scout Trail

Don’t you laugh when the hearse goes by
‘Cause you might be the next to die

They’ll wrap you up in a clean white sheet
And put you down about six feet deep

They put you into a wooden box,
And cover you over with earth and rocks.

It’s not so bad for the first few weeks
Until your coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes

They eat your clothes, they eat your hat
They crawl in skinny, and crawl out fat

Your teeth fall in and your eyes pop out,
Your brains come trickling down your snout.

Then you turn disgustingly green
Your skin as slimy as whipping cream.

So next time you see the hearse go by
Watch out!
You may be the next (pause)
To (pause)
Die!

I Know an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly

Source: Timmy Abell

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat,
Imagine that, to swallow a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.
I know an old lady who swallowed a dog,
My, what a hog, to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat,
Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow,
I wonder how she swallowed a cow?!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse,
She’s dead, of course!!

Found a Peanut

This one goes to the tune of Cementine.

Source: Scoutorama

Found a peanut
Found a peanut
Found a peanut last night
Last night I found a peanut
Found a peanut last night

Broke it open
Broke it open
Broke it open last night
Last night I broke it open
Broke it open last night

Next Verses:
(It was rotten)
(Ate it Anyway)
(Got a tummy ache)
(Operation)
(Died anyway)
(Went to heaven)
(Kicked an angel)
(Went the other way)

I’m Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee

Source: Kididdles

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee,
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me,

(Cup hands together as if holding bee)

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee,
Ouch! It stung me!
(Shake hands as if just stung)

I’m squishing up the baby bumblebee,
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me,
(‘Squish’ bee between palms of hands)

I’m squishing up a baby bumblebee,
Ooh! It’s yucky!
(Open up hands to look at ‘mess’)

I’m wiping off the baby bumblebee,
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me,
(Wipe hands off on shirt)

I’m wiping off the baby bumblebee,
Now my mommy won’t be mad at me!
(Hold hands up to show they are clean)

Alternate here.

Source: Songs for Scouts

Baby Bumble Bee
I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee!
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me, I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee!
OOO-EEE he stung me!

I’m squishin’ up my baby bumble bee!
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me, I’m squishin’ up my baby bumble bee!
OOO-EEE Blood on me!

I’m lickin’ up my baby bumble bee!
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me, I’m squishin’ up my baby bumble bee!
OOO-EEE Needs salt!

From an entertaining kids singer on YouTube, check out this video:

And another alternate from Children’s Gross Out Rhymes:

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me?
‘Cause I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Ouch! It stung me!

I’m smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me?
‘Cause I’m smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, what a mess!

I’m licking up my baby bumblebee.
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me?
‘Cause I’m licking up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, I feel sick.

I’m puking up my baby bumblebee.
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me?
‘Cause I’m puking up my baby bumblebee.
Ahhh, I feel better.

The Worms Play Pinochle

The part of the song I recall goes something like this:

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.

I guess as a kid… that is rather memorable.

Here is the rest.

Source: Goblinville

Did you ever think, as a hearse goes by,
That you might be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And bury you down about six feet deep

They put you in a big black box,
And cover you up with dirt and rocks,
And all goes well, for about a week,
And then the coffin begins to leak!

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.

A great big worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes,
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.

You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that’s what worms eat when you’re dead.

Another version – but it is shorter:

Source: Eskimo

Did you ever see a hearse go by?
Then you will be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a bloody sheet
And throw you down about fifty feet.
The worms crawl in.
The worms crawl out.
And that’s what this story is all about.